I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
