Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
