You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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