you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
