Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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