You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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