She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
