she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
