she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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