the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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