sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The maid of honor just puked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
