Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did i walk over a car last night?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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