dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
