You can't motorboat a personality
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
