It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
