Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
