Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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