Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
