Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize