this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
