dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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