i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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