hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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