were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
