never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
