I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
