i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
