I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize