I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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