Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
