id be glad to
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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