i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
