She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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