I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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