I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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