Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize