If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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