Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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