ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
