Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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