and she was petting her beer can
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
