i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wear drunk well.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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