I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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