just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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