I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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