im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
