i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize