I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
