Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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