Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how do flat chested girls get laid?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
