My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
