I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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