smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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