Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
