...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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