Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
