i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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