why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
