ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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