Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
