it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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