6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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